The Challenge: TRIPLE THREAT!!!!
The Smiths vs The G-Men vs Fuzzhead and Fatso
The Verdict:
It's the first fight of the new year. As a special holiday treat, we've managed to get a triple team fight to the death in an electrified steel cage. That's right. You heard me. 3 teams all out to kill each other and be the last team standing.
Our announcer tonight is none other than the Jaunty Janitor himself, that epitome of cool, Fuzzy!
Fuzzy steps through the ropes and moonwalks to the center of the ring. He grabs the microphone and starts to sing, "Billy Jean is not my love.." The crowd goes wild and cheers so loudly that Fuzzy can no longer be heard. He slowly gets the point and shuts the fuck up.
He opens his mouth again and this time begins introducing tonights fighters.
The first team into the ring are "The Smiths". Becky Smith steps into the ring and holds the rope up for Maryann Smith, who is dressed as a pirate. "Arrrgh", she growls menacingly. They make their way to their corner and begin warming up with some simple algebra problems.
Our second team needs no introduction. They are the informidable and deadly duo of Bob "Zimbo" Zimmerman and Andy "Phat" Groves. They roll into the ring underneath the ropes and are helped to their feet by Fuzzy. "You two ladieth are going down!" Zimbo lisps at The Smiths.
Before Becky Smith can produce a witty retort, the crowd notices the 3rd team approaching the ring and unanimously begins booing them.
Robert Sanders sprints up to the stage as Chris Alonso waddles along behind him. Chris' face is bright red and sweat is pouring down his face. Robert leaps over the ropes and jumps into the middle of the ring, while Chris gets tangled in the ropes. After getting loose, Chris joins Robert in the center. He's panting heavily.
Fuzzy announces that all the contestants for tonights match are now here. There is a loud mechanical gear sound as a huge cage is lowered around the ring, then a loud crackling sound as the electricity is turned on.
Fuzzy calls all the fighters to the center where he tells them to beat the shit out of each other. The bell sounds and it begins.
Zimbo gets things started with a roundhouse kick to Chris Alonso's crotch area, but his foot gets stuck and he looses his balance and falls over. Chris screams a bloodcurdling squeal and looks at Fuzzy pleadingly. Fuzzy just looks right back at him and asks, "What? Do you want me to give you a cookie?"
Maryann Smith uses this opportunity to pull out a protractor that he had clevery hidden in her shoe. She leaps into the air and lands on Zimbo's head, driving the pointy end of the protractor into his left eye.
Sanders runs over to Becky Smith and proceeds to rapidly rub his hair against her, leaving massive carpet burns all over her body. Chris Alonso, who has by this time has managed to release Zimbo's foot, rushes Groves, but trips over Zimbo and falls flat on his face, breaking his neck.
As soon as he saw Maryann Smith begin her attack on Zimbo, Groves began his retaliatory attack. He dropped to the ground and managed to get himself rolling. His body is perfectly suited to his special attack. He's perfectly round like a huge globe, and once he gets moving, he's 500 pounds of steam roller that's nearly impossible to stop. He rolls over Maryann Smith, flattening her instantly. Unfortunately, he also managed to roll over Zimbo's head.
Groves is now trying to slow his roll, but Becky Smith is right behind him, pushing him on! He rolls right into the steel cage and the lights dim as Groves lights up like a giant, round sparkler.
Becky Smith and Robert Sanders are the only two fighters left alive, and they circle each other like vicious raccoons.
Suddenly, there is a loud pop as the electricity feeding the cage is cut. This isn't supposed to happen. Someone must have sabotaged it!
The two fighters have stopped fighting and are just standing there. It looks like they're.. smelling something. Yes, Fuzzy smells it too. There is a pained look on their faces. The smell must be getting worse. What could be causing it?
A small figure slides down the chains holding the cage and opens the hatch at the top. He is extremely short.. only 4'8", and he's not wearing a shirt. Could it be? Yes! It is! It's The Armpit Man! In all his years of professional wrestling, he's never used deoderant. That's right, it's Chris Pruitt! He's had a grudge against everyone here for as long as he can remember. He leaps into the cage and raises his arms. The smell instantly increases exponentially. "It's awful! It's like y=e^9999x !", Becky Smith screams as she collapses unconscious into the pile of bodies.
Robert Sanders just freezes as his eyes glaze over, then he also falls. Fuzzy has a bit of tolerance built up due to his own smell, but he's no match for The Pruitt Pits. He pulls out his buffer in a last ditch effort to eradicate this new menace, but it's too late. He grabs his crotch with his left hand and screams "Owwww!" as he too falls to the mat.
But Chris doesn't seem to be finished! His arms are still up! The crowd nearest the ring begins falling. It moves out in a wave as more and more people begin to smell it. It's almost filled the whole stadium. It's even started smlleig up herhh. It's getetingf worrrssser,..,/ I adodn ;t htingk I cannks d da mkd asdmk m,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
