The Challenge:
BT: Billy Tucker vs. Stovepipe
The Verdict:
10 years have passed since he felt his last victory in the critically hailed "Squared Circle." BT Billy Tucker now sells Volkswagens at a local golf shop. He takes another puff of his pipe as he looks at letter laid open in front of him. It's a challenge sent to him by his most loathsome foe; Stovepipe, son of Stovetop, who rides from the South.
Before he could think further, the world that stood before BT's eyes fell away from him and he found himself floating down to the ring in nothing but his watermelon green leotard.
As soon as his feet hit the mat, "Cocaine" started blaring over the in-house speakers. Stovepipe came running down the aisle and slid the last few feet. He failed to notice the grease that had sprinkled off BT's oily mane and he slid right up under the ring, knocking himself unconscious.
"Well, it looks like the fight is over for tonight," the announced said.
Just then there was a commotion in the crowd.
"What's this? A contender has emerged from the crowd. And...I think that's, yes...it looks like it's Arlo Gilleeum!"
"It's Gillam!" Arlo demands. "Check out my site at http://www.arlogillam.com," he says with a wink.
Arlo and BT engage in a grapple. 12 seconds later, BT is cornered in the turnbuckle. Ol' Lo climbs up on the second belt and dangles his shorn nuts in BT's face. Just as BT thought he was done for, something grabbed Arlo from behind and threw him to the other side of the ring.
"Dirty balls!" Arlo exclaimed.
Derek Myers stood in the middle of the ring. "This is for calling me Dirty Balls," he said as he drove his knee into Arlo's face. Arlo suddenly exploded. Derek turned around and BT Billy Tucker saw that it wasn't Derek at all, but Stovepipe!
Billy Tucker pulled out his guitar and started singing, "Happy Anniversary, baby. Got you on my...MIIII-IIIIND!" Stovepipe became entranced by the music and started pointing at BT's effects pedals and nodding his head menacingly. He then pulled out a cowbell and they started jamming to "Don't Fear the Reaper."
Stovepipe spontaneously combusted as he asked BT for a $5 bill. "Got any change?" he said through the flames. "I gots ta go to the dock-ta!" BT heard a cackle that sounded like a broken zipper as Stovepipe's body turned to ashes.
The crowd erupted as BT exited the ring. BT looked back at the ring with a tear in his eye and then held up the one ring...the ring that would carry him home. Lightning came through the ceiling and BT was gone. He was never heard from again.
